Monday, November 30, 2009

pity party, sort of.

so... i have all kinds of great ideas for the future. most of them have me finishing college about the same time as Indiana. Some days, as i sit here trying to make my brain wiring kick, i wonder what the heck i am thinking going back to school.

here's the long version: i decided that the job market sucks for someone with no marketable education. that would be me. so, i did some looking and found a field i might be able to not kill myself in (i might kill others, but what the heck) anyhow, as i started really looking into my chosen field it started making more and more sense but the education for it got longer and longer. now, following the most recent addition to the educational trajectory i am thinking i should finish my university studies when i am 43. holy crap. at least i guess i wont have to work too many years before retiring. and if i keep getting the grades, i shouldn't have too many student loans, as scholarships are just kicking butt right now. however, to keep getting the grades sometimes i feel like, OK, i KNOW i neglect my family. i haven't seen Duck in an age (and he isn't even going to Florida with us this year) I was so wrapped up in my homework tonight that Indy went to bed without his customary bedtime story. the spouse is cooking dinner every-night, on top of unloading the dishwasher every day (i load it), doing his homework, and helping out in other areas... i am so far behind in the laundry we bought Indy three new pairs of pants so he would have something to wear to school on Monday morning. i don't want to work at McDonald's all my life, but i have trouble weighing the (relatively) short term familial neglect over the long term possible benefits. I haven't even gotten Indy's Santa letter written, nor the Christmas card address' put together.

wow, so that was a pity party, wasn't it. of course i feel much better now.


♥Caroline♥ said...

at least you have a goal!!! This time of year brings alot of us down...I'm so depressed i don't even want to talk about all that's going on in my head.

Take it one thing at a time dear!

Anonymous said...

she knows i help alot lol and i hate december christmas blows and i hate it yet every year i get on roof hanging the christmas lights in all kinds of weather last year was snow lol this year was ok expt for the power outage after dark when i was on roof lol well she will do fine and she knows it i would help with laundery but when i got her the new washer and dryer i was told no touchies these are mine lol