Monday, March 29, 2010

humbled by my children:

two stories, one for each of my kids...

sorry, no pics today.

About Indy:

on our way home from Florida we flew through Atlanta. I was complaining about flight delays and airport miseries. Fate and the four year old found a way to make those flight delays trivial. When we found our gate, it was covered in camo. We were scheduled to fly out of gate E31... covering every inch of E31, 32, 33, and 34 were approximately 300+ US Army Soldiers. We sat near a major who told us they were heading to Afghanistan, via Kuwait. Indy saluted him and told him thank you for being in the army... the major gave indy a uniform flag patch and told us he had a 5 year old son waiting at home. Indy then made friends with a young Soldier named Mike. Mike was a wonderful young man, with a nice southern accent and a heart of gold who spent half and hour or so talking with Indy. When the flight was called, Mike went off to join the single file line of Soldier's snaking down the concourse. Indy, being Indy, wanted to go say goodbye one last time to his new friend, whom we will probably never hear from again. I let him. Mike the Army guy was near the head of the line. Indy decided he was going to high five every one of those soldiers, and he did. Looking down the line, you could see the men and women shuffling things out of their hands, so they could have a free hand to high five him, or ruffle his hair. he smiled and said thank you for being in the army over and over and by the time he got to the end i was nearly in tears, humbled by my little guy.
I hope those soldiers know how much they mean to Indy. He loves all of them, but he loves Mike the best.

About Duck:

Today, i had a lecture, then a ten minute break before lab. On the break i was smoking and i noticed a fellow from my lecture there and struck up a conversation... asking him if he had lab with me or had lab 2. He said he had lab2 because the M/W one ran too late for him to pick up his daughter from school. I asked which school she was at and it was CLOVER RIDGE! well, that's the school Duck went to, and he volunteers there also. I mentioned how much we love it there, and not mentioning my older boy by name, said he volunteered with Mrs, Grahm's kindergartners. The man looked at me for a moment and said "Dakota?" of course I said, "yes! how did you know!?!?" he said his daughter is in that class now, and he had met Dakota earlier in the year and that my son looks just like me, and isn't Dakota just the nicest, politest, most helpful teenager ever... WOW. in public, Duck really is, we get told by teachers and things quite often what a delight he is (in private it is a whole different thing). It was heart warming to hear a stranger tell me that he see these traits in my child.

I have great boys, and i love them both so much. my children are truly blessings raining down on me.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

oh woe is me:

I got the last of my grades this morning... all As.

Oh woe is me I am burdened by my great intellect, hehhehehe.

Anyways, my forehead is burnt, and my feet sorta hurt, but i got to touch a Stingray! Today's agenda: visit a friend and hit the gulf. finally some water!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

fly the friendly skies:

first vacation posting: (i'm no travel writer... thank goodness) check back occasionally for more photos and etc...

we made it.

Our flight out of Portland was delayed by about 45 minutes, then when we landed in Detroit, we were so late that we had to sit on the tarmac for almost 20 minutes while they made room at a gate for us. We initially had 50 minutes scheduled to change planes, but with all the delays, we ended up MISSING our connection and sitting in Detroit for over three hours while Delta tried to get us on another flight (the cool thing was that i got to buy a Detroit Piston's t-shirt for Indy in Detroit).

We finally drug into Ft. Meade about 1pm, no one had slept since 8 the morning before, Indy was cranky and finally just passed out right before we pulled into the driveway. It was a long long trip, but worth it. We went to Inco Agrico Mosaic wetlands park today... it is just BEAUTIFUL here.... while Chris and I were walking the boardwalk and admiring the Peace River (which was higher than i had ever seen it) Indy was at DISNEY WORLD!

Monday, March 15, 2010

an abnormal response

Typically, i don't deign to respond to hecklers. At first, i thought this should be no different, but some of my friends have called, emailed, or left comments replying to the heckler. For those who didn't see it, the comment is still there, but here it is, copied and pasted :

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you also discover that you are completely full of yourself? "oh, woe is me. I am burdened by my great intellect and feel so sorry for the lesser beings in my classes.

You sound like a world class snob

Perhaps i am something of a snob. But i never was a snob about my intellect before, so it is kind of cool to me that someone would think that i am. Usually, especially with my friends, i play down this part of myself. In all honesty, most of my life was spent pretending that i was not as intelligent as I actually am. In the days of dinosaurs, when i was in high school, i often did poorly because i didn't want my friends to think i was too smart and not be my friends anymore. My insecurities were rampant, even if well hidden.

I find it amazing, and i am justly proud of the fact that after all of these years i have returned to continue my education, but now i can be smart, in fact i am encouraged to be smart. My instructors spend time stroking my ego with the giant A's that they continually hand me. I do work for these A's. I do get frustrated that many other students don't keep pace with me; I do my homework, they should do theirs. I read, I study, I learn. AND I LIKE IT.

So, am I full of myself? Yeah probably.
Is that a bad thing? No, not this time.

Years ago, when my ego was fragile and i was so uncomfortable in my own skin, this rude anonymous comment would have probably made me dislike myself more, and perhaps even quit school, tail between my legs that someone didn't like me. Now, it makes me angry that someone who remains hidden behind a veil of anonymity would try to hurt me in this way. I am also strong enough in myself, now, full of myself enough now (if you will), to be moderately amused by the barb.

i also think i might steal the line and make it my new face-book status message, it is sort of funny. Oh woe is me... I am burdened by my great intellect. Muwahahahha.

learning about myself:

One thing i have to say about community college that i did not expect, I am learning a lot about who I am. I have had many of my opinions about myself reinforced, but I am having to, at the same time, revisit some thoughts. It turns out that I am smart. I always sort of thought so, but i knew that lots of people are smart, and always just assumed that most people were like me. It turns out, this really isn't the case.

Most of us take for granted that we can do certain things, and the assumption being that if we can do them, so can every one else. I am finding that this isn't true.
There are so many things about education that come naturally to me. I find myself truly frustrated with my fellow students lack of similar skill (especially with similar instruction). I am learning that i am less patient than i believed myself to be.
In a classroom with 50 other students, a test designed to take an hour takes me twelve minutes, and i score higher than my fellow learners (in a class that is deemed by the administration to be difficult). In another class, I am told that perhaps I should be held to a different standard, because it would be unfair to my fellow students to try to measure up to my successes, and unfair to my education if i am held to their standard as my skill with the subject matter is greater (yet it is my first class of this type and I have had the same instruction and opportunities that all the other students have had).

So, I am struggling to match the realities of my life with the possibilities of life that i see in my mind. I never realized that other people do not have the same swarming masses of thoughts, that other people don't read Aristotle because our instructor mentions him. I never realized that the things i am capable of doing naturally are a struggle for others. I am not complaining that i have potential, far from it. Really, I am sort of saddened that I never attempted to realize this potential before.

There are many obstacles to overcome, one of many is finding the way to continue financially, but I think I am going to continue my education rather than taking the first stop to a job. If i can find a way, I will continue school, until i have found in me, the place to stop. If i could do anything, it would be to one day reach out and teach other minds like mine. I am not a genius, in fact, until i returned to school I didn't even think i was above average. Bright perhaps, but in a normal kind of way. But, I always had a thirst to know, to understand, to talk it out until i got it... Perhaps, one day i could teach? Perhaps one day i could Preach? Perhaps one day i could lead?

Perhaps, first, i should find out who I am.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

i do not keep up with this the way i should anymore. i apologize. the latest: almost done with winter term... leaving for florida in a little over a week. finals coming, studying up. indy is doing great. if i dont write again before we go, i will post pics when i get back.