there are many repercussions to which friends a person chooses in their youth.
i was luckier than most in this regard.
I have mentioned our group a few times here... as we searched for each other and came together as adults, who's shared history made us veterans of a crazy time, most fully recovered. Oddly, most of my current friends i have known for many years. usually in those odd myspace surveys, its my husband who i have known the least amount of time.
There's Terry: He was the high school jock, captain of this and that (my high school boyfriend) full of himself and with a glorious life ahead of him, too good for the rest of us, but Here he is now: a sweet guy, mostly single, who plays with Indy, helps my mom out, hangs out with my brother, plays video games with my husband, and is a great friend.
There's Teresa: loud, proud, brash, and a little insecure, our favorite, she made you want to protect her from life, but Here she is now: the most stable of my friends, with a quiet husband for 7ish years now, stays home and babysits her nieces and nephews and in laws, rediscovered and is a beautiful person
There's Melody: She was the "new kid" never really fitting in, but ever ready to please, bake for us, or just be noticed by us, in retrospect probably more fragile than any of us knew...but Where is she now: well, no one actually talks to her really, in nearly a year. the loss of younger brother from heart failure 3 years ago seemed to shatter that veneer of sanity she hid behind. i feel for her, hope she recovers and rejoins us, but for now am cut off, as i circle the wagons to protect my family.
There's Arica: Beautiful, funny, charming, slightly evil, flitting like a butterfly around life. Loud enough to lead, smart enough not to. Here she is now: two beautiful sons (one brand new) a handsome husband who loves her, who serves his country and all of us, keeping himself and the rest of us safe, fighting for us all in Iraq. Arica, with her humor and strength keeping us all sane, and grounded. wow.
There were others, but there was John: quiet, competent, caring, a fantastic family, he struggled with his image of himself, and of us, he was the most outwardly normal of everyone i knew... because we all know jock's, slow's, new's, tramp's and drunk's cant be normal... and that was the rest of us, in one or more categories. As soon as he could, he joined up with the service and kicked some of this dust. And here he is now: quiet, caring, flashing moments of competence, but unsettled, struggling with his image of himself and a family that evolved from Donna Reed into Ozzy Osbourne while he was away.
Now, this post isn't about all of my old friends who stayed with me... it's about John's parents. As the family changed, they adjusted so that they could still exude the same quiet strength and competence and security that they did all my life... even if Karen has taken to moving the Christmas tree. the history i have with them is sometimes embarrassing, sometimes i try not to remember, but they have always been willing to be there... when i deserved it, when i didn't, when they didn't have to be. even now.
So, the repercussions i started out talking about? Sometimes, when you find a lifetime friend in your youth, your children benefit years later. how? from getting to have an extra set of grandparents most kids don't get to have. the "john's mom and John's dad" that every little kid should have in their lives.
welcome home, Indy's wearing his shirt today!