Saturday, July 29, 2006

I just don't understand

How does a persons life go crazy? How is it that a person you thought you knew, you don't know at all? Recent things and not so recent things, happening in my town have me wondering.

Today, I missed the memorial service for a girl whom I knew when I was young. When her and I were in Jr high school together, walking the same halls, sitting through the same classes, she was so much "better than me". If I were to be voted anything, it would have been most likely to be stupid, drunk, high and dead before 21. She wouldn't speak to me in those hallowed halls. I was bad. I fixed my life. Unfortunately, so did she. She became the girl I was destined to be. Today, Friday the 28th of July, 2006 at 3pm Fisher Funeral Home of Albany Oregon held a memorial service for Rachel Lea Soto, who chose death by police officer. I wanted to go to her memorial service. I think a lot of people wanted to attend who couldn't. The city held it during the week, when those of us with jobs and lives couldn't make it. Cut down on the mourners that way. It should have been a packed house. What Happened to Rachel?

what you will hear on the news is that Rachel was a serial criminal. The truth is that Rachel tried to live her life the best she could, but circumstance brought her down. Men brought her further down, and finally, she chose to fight to the death, to go out in a blaze of glory. None of us will ever forget her now. Rachel Soto was killed by an Albany city Police Officer. That same police officer had been to my house just the week before over something petty (a neighbor had absconded with our property). Now, he has killed someone whom 15 years ago, I wished I could call friend. I wont forget you Rachel, not the girl who you were, nor the woman you should have been. I will try with all my heart to forget the person you died as.

Then there is Jeff. Have you ever met someone whom you have never met? Our paths crossed so many times, yet I never knew you. You are but 5 months younger than I, born in the same place, raised in our same valley. Are you guilty? Ten years now and I still don't know. How long can you wait for justice? What really happened?

So, with lives going wrong, I sit, and I cry for the people they should have been. Sometimes I cry for who I should have been, too.

7 comments:

phoenix said...

Fate has a way of bringing you up or down... but it is your choice how you will live. It is a shame that she chose to go that way... maybe she had just had enough. Know one will really ever know what she was thinking in the moment in time... but at least now she is in a better place.

Hi from Michele!

Anonymous said...

It's a shame whenever someone's life takes such a harsh turn.

Michele sent me.

oregoncelticlady said...

What a beautiful tribute to her! You seem tobe doing quite a good job of yourself....given the smile on the faces and the light in the eyes of your boys! Maybe put all the energy of mourning these peoples lives into celebrating yours.....
Thanks for continuing to stop by my sporatic blog and thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

For those of you who would like to celebrate the memory of rachel you can go to her memorial site at http://rachel-soto.memory-of.com . Please light a candle for her while you are there!

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